If you’re anything like me, goal-setting is a mixed bag. There are a lot of good goal-setting frameworks out there, but they’re also easy to get tired of.
One of the things I’ve done in recent years to set better goals is write down all of my one year goals … and then rank the top 4. Those top 4 goals cover four areas of my life: Spiritual, Personal, Family, Professional.
Once I’ve identified the top goal in each of those categories, then I ask myself 4 follow-up questions for each goal. I write this down in a journal (and on my computer for easy reference) so I can access it quickly.
Here are the 4 follow-up questions as well as a few of my own personal goals for the coming year 🙂
- Why do I want to accomplish this goal? S
- What is the pain I will feel if I don’t accomplish this goal?
- What is the pleasure I’ll get from accomplishing this goal?
- How will accomplishing this goal contribute to others?
My top 4 Goals for the Year 2020 are:
- Spiritual: To consistently spend time drumming.
- Personal: To take time to appreciate myself more.
- Familial: To take more time to pause, consider, and take action regarding cultivating a NEW type of relationship with my daughters.
- Professional: To book 10 FREE speaking engagements to groups/organizations that service moms and/or daughters.
Here are my answers to the four questions for my four goals.
Spiritual Goal: To Spend Time Drumming
- Why do I want to accomplish this goal? So that I can grow creatively. Every drummer is different, but for me, when I “get lost” in the beat or “discover” a new drum fill resulting from my just “feeling the music,” it so liberating and exciting. It’s like a new portal of my mind and soul gets opened up AND my eyes are opened up to more possibilities around me.
- What is the pain I will feel if I don’t accomplish this goal? If I don’t accomplish this goal of consistency, which for me I’ve defined as being at least 15 minutes 3 times a week, then I will feel like I’ve neglected myself and not given oxygen to my passion. No oxygen, no life. I like life 🙂
- What is the pleasure I’ll get from accomplishing this goal? As I’ve said, I love ALL kinds of music and percussion is the part that my heart and spirit are particularly attuned to. So, my becoming more consistent in playing my drum kit and improving my skills will allow me to join in (playing-wise) the beauty of what I hear and express myself creatively.
- How will accomplishing this goal contribute to others? When I am able to discover (through the process of practicing and playing music) and express myself creatively through music, it broadens my mind and heart to new experiences and discoveries about myself and the world around me. This expansion increases my ability to see new possibilities for myself and others (including my mother-daughter clients).
Personal Goal: To Appreciate Myself More
- Why do I want to accomplish this goal? It’ll make me more mindful of the unique perspectives and interests that I have and bring to all whom I encounter in various situations.
- What is the pain I will feel if I don’t accomplish this goal? Duh…unappreciated.
- What is the pleasure I’ll get from accomplishing this goal? I’ll find more joy in those moments of marveling at and owning my uniqueness.
- How will accomplishing this goal contribute to others? Appreciating myself more will help others pause to consider and appreciate their own uniqueness.
Family Goal: To Develop A New Type Of Relationship With My Daughters
- Why do I want to accomplish this goal? They are the reason I do what I do as a woman and mom. I want to grow and support them in the way that THEY need as they write the story of their lives.
- What is the pain I will feel if I don’t accomplish this goal? Not doing this would pain me in not fulfilling the purpose I was meant to fulfill in their lives as their mom. That purpose is to encourage, support, and facilitate their reaching their own dreams and life goals.
- What is the pleasure I’ll get from accomplishing this goal? I’m excited to see them come into their own as they transition towards a fuller more independent adult life.
- How will accomplishing this goal contribute to others? They will be better able to engage in all the new relationships and experiences they will have in new settings and circles in the future.
Professional Goal: To Book 10 FREE Speaking Engagements To Mom &/Or Daughter Groups/Organizations
- Why do I want to accomplish this goal? So that I can reach and encourage more moms and adult daughters on how to attain the kind of relationship they desire to have with each other and give them tools to achieve that.
- What is the pain I will feel if I don’t accomplish this goal? Not accomplishing this goal is not an option for me. Too much is at stake for the next generation of young people. I need to reach as many women as I can.
- What is the pleasure I’ll get from accomplishing this goal? Accomplishing this goal will make me feel fulfilled in knowing that I am helping the next generation by providing tools, strategies, and hope to the moms/women who are raising them.
- How will accomplishing this goal contribute to others? Moms who are raising daughters are affecting future generations of women & men. My goal is to help humanity in that regard.
So those are my 2020 goals.
What are your 2020 goals? You can comment below.
I’m here to cheer you on!
©Dr. Michelle Deering & Curative Connections LLC